| HAHAHA i can't believe i'm posting right now! Does anyone even look at this anymore? Love you guys! And HAPPPY BIRTHDAY KADY!!!! |
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| I miss my friends....does anyone want to move to oahu with me... i was thinking we could create a community of all my friends I've ever had....what do you guys think? We could do away with money and go back to trading things... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! |
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| I am sorry to all my friends i've neglected.
I'm still just searching for what i want out of life and what i want to do in this life, and in doing so i've completely ignored pretty much everyone. I've just been so busy and sooo caught up in my life, i've forgotten others...and i'm sorry for that and to be completely honest i'm probably not going to change anytime soon... and i will most likely never be the same Emily anymore. I am not trying to sound depressing b/c i don't think I've necessarily changed for the bad. I've just changed...my friends here don't see it b/c they've only ever known me as sarcasstic and mean haha but those of you who truly knew me inside and out can clearly see that i've changed.
For the first time in a long time, the other day I started to think about one of my good friends from a little time back and began to tell my friends when we were at the bar a story about how i use to sneak into her room and come up right next to her face and just simply say her name and laugh and laugh as she screamed.....all my friends at the bar laughed and i was laughing to. That was the first time I had even mentioned any of my college friends to my friends here. I've just changed people...I don't talk about a lot of things...i'm completely lost in myself and what i want to do with myself and thats ok with me...I'm ok with being lost b/c how many people aren't lost at 21? I think i may know one or two and they may even possibly just be fooling themselves. I'm tired of seeing people pretending, well i'm not going to pretend like i'm a good friend...b/c i know i'm not. And I'm just so tired of trying to fix everything, when nothing will be the same again. Nothing will ever be the same again...Does that make you sad? Do you think you made a wrong turn somewhere? You just have to deal with it...its hard and sometimes it sucks that things will never be the same again....but some day you'll look back at your life now and wish things were like they are right at this moment... Its all just a cruel cycle, so why dwell on the past...just move forward with the people that surround you at that place and time...
anyways
I Love you all
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| Prone to wander lord i feel it...prone to leave the ones i love
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| Yes we are still on for november 18th. And no sorry i'm not goin to the beach..i don't have enough time to do both... i wish i could though i would love to have your company. |
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